When supporting your parents becomes a tax problem

Two years ago, after our big move from Germany to the U.S., I sat down with my new American tax adviser and asked a seemingly simple question:

“Can I deduct the money I send to support my parents back in Hong Kong on my U.S. tax return?”

He looked at me, paused for a moment, and then said:

“No. Actually… depending on how much you send, you might even trigger a gift tax.”

Wait. What?! Gift tax?

This was such a culture shock moment for me — not the kind you get from food or language, but from the tax system. I had to laugh a little (okay, nervously), because I realized just how different things were between the two countries we’ve lived in.

In Germany, I got money back for taking care of my parents

When we lived in Germany, I used to report the money I sent every month to my parents in Hong Kong. It’s called “Unterhaltsleistungen” — basically, maintenance expenses or financial support for close relatives abroad.

As long as you met certain criteria (like your parents reach certain age and are not having significant income themselves), you could deduct those payments from your taxable income.

And guess what? I got a nice little tax refund every year for doing something I was going to do anyway: taking care of my family.

Read also: Tax Return in Germany – 2025 English Guide

In the U.S., supporting your family is a potential tax burden

Fast forward to our new life in California. I figured I’d ask my tax guy if I could do the same. After all, supporting your aging parents feels like something every culture should acknowledge, right?

Wrong.

In the U.S., there’s no equivalent deduction for sending money to parents abroad. In fact, the IRS might see it as a gift — and if you send more than $19,000 per year (as of 2025), you may need to report it using Form 709, the gift tax return.

No deduction. No tax break. Just paperwork — and the potential of owing gift tax if you’re above the annual threshold.

What I’ve learned (and what I want to share with you)

It felt almost absurd.

In one country, I was rewarded for supporting my parents.

In another, I was warned that I might owe taxes for being too generous.

👉If you’re filing German taxes — I’ve written a full guide on how I claimed parental support and got a significant refund.

Just don’t make the same mistake I did: for years after moving to Germany, I didn’t claim anything because I had no idea it was even tax-deductible!

👉If you’re filing U.S. taxes, be careful. Sending too much money to your family abroad could trigger gift tax rules.

You can stay under the threshold by sending smaller amounts, and in some cases, expenses like medical bills may be exempt — but the rules are complex. Always check with a tax advisor before transferring large sums.

If you enjoyed this post, why not subscribe so you won’t miss the next one? I write like I talk – real, personal, and honest. Just me, sharing life across cultures. 💌

Until next time,

Sindy