Moving with Kids? The Ultimate Family Relocation Hacks You Need!

Planning a family relocation or moving with kids? It’s an exciting yet daunting process, and I’ve walked that road myself. Whether it’s helping your children settle into a new school or making sure they stay connected to old friends, there’s a lot to consider. But with some preparation and a little creativity, you can make the transition smoother for everyone. Let me share what I’ve learned along the way.

Introduction

I moved from Hong Kong to Germany at 24, single and with just one suitcase. Simple, right?

Fast forward 12 years, I’ve got a husband, two kids, and a house packed with furniture. When we made our move from Germany to the U.S., the complexity skyrocketed.

Moving with kids isn’t just about shipping boxes and finding a new place to live—it’s about helping them feel secure, settle into a new environment, and navigate new schools, languages, and friendships.

I quickly realized how crucial it was to not only help them adapt but also find ways to keep our old memories close while embracing the new.

Moving with kids – before your family relocation

1. Understanding the Impact of Moving on Kids

Moving affects kids in different ways depending on their age and where they’re at in their lives. Toddlers might adapt more easily, while school-age kids and teenagers might have more complex feelings.

When we moved from Germany to the U.S., it wasn’t just a big change for us adults—it was a whole new world for our two daughters.

Our move showed us how important it is to be supportive and understanding, and to recognize that everyone in the family is going through their own version of the change.

Toddlers and Preschoolers: A Different Kind of Challenge

Our youngest was not even three years old when we moved, so she didn’t really get what was going on. She didn’t have a strong connection with friends or a deep understanding of the move. Even though she played with other kids at daycare, she was so young that she didn’t really have any real friendships yet.

For her, it was more about adjusting to a new routine, and she managed that pretty well. She didn’t quite grasp the concept of moving, so it was mostly smooth sailing for her.

School-Age Kids: The Emotional Rollercoaster

Our older daughter, on the other hand, was almost six at the time. And her reaction was a bit different.

We thought she’d be excited about the new house and the adventure of moving to a different country. We imagined her thrilled about the plane ride and all the new experiences awaiting us. But when we first told her about the move, her reaction was anything but what we expected.

She was heartbroken. Leaving Germany meant leaving her friends behind. She had a close-knit group at kindergarten and some really good friends in the neighborhood.

The idea of saying goodbye to them was tough for her. She wanted to stay and be with her friends, and it was clear how much they meant to her.

Teenagers: The Mixed Bag of Moving

I didn’t have a teenager going through this move, but I can share a bit from my own experience growing up in Hong Kong.

Back then, it was pretty common for teenagers in Hong Kong to move abroad for school. When I was a teenager, some of my friends went to places like the UK or Australia. And for many, it was an exciting opportunity. Studying abroad was seen as a dream for a lot of us, with new experiences and adventures waiting.

But not everyone was thrilled. Some teens struggled with leaving behind close friends, romantic relationships, and their familiar routines. The idea of starting over in a new place with new people could be overwhelming. It’s a mix of excitement and anxiety. And it’s important to recognize that both can be part of the experience.

Read also: Moving to Germany – Complete Guide for Expat

2. Communicate Early and Often

When we first found out we were moving from Germany to the U.S., we knew it was going to be a big change for our daughters. To make this transition as smooth as possible, we started planning early and involved our kids every step of the way.

Here’s how we did it and what we learned along the way.

Start the Conversation Early

One of the first things we did was start talking with our kids about the move as soon as we were certain that we were really moving. We didn’t want to spring it on them at the last minute.

For our older daughter, who was five at the time, we began by sharing exciting details about our new life in the U.S. We showed her pictures and talked about how great her new school would be, hoping to paint a positive picture of what was to come.

It turned out that our timing was fortuitous. The visa process took a lot longer than we expected—nearly a year and a half—so we had plenty of time to help her adjust to the idea. Even though we didn’t tell her until we were certain, it gave her a lot more time to digest the news and get used to the idea of moving.

Involve Them in the Process

Getting our kids involved in the moving process was another key step. We wanted them to feel a sense of control and investment in the move.

One way we did this was by letting them help with packing. We asked our daughter to choose which toys she wanted to bring with us to the temporary apartment where we’d stay until our stuff arrived with the shipment. This way, she had her favorite toys to keep her comforted in the new place.

Make a personalized book

Another fun project was creating a special adventure book about our move. We made a personalized storybook that detailed our family’s relocation from Germany to the U.S.

Each page showed a step in the process, from saying goodbye to our old home to arriving at our new temporary apartment in the U.S. and settling down at a new school.

The book included pictures of our family, our new house, and our future adventures, like attending a new school and making a lot of new friends.

You can buy an empty album and make this book by yourself. Or, in our case, we just print it out with normal A4 paper and bind them together.

For some of the pages, we didn’t have the pictures yet (new house/ school in the U.S.). In those pages, we just used general house/ school pictures in the U.S. and wrote down some descriptions on those pages.

We read this book to our daughters frequently (months before we moved), so they knew exactly what to expect. It was like a comforting guide to what was coming next, and it really helped set their expectations and ease their nerves.

Read also: Buying a House in Germany – As a Foreigner

3. Emotional Support and Reassurance

Let’s be real—moving is tough on everyone, but it can be especially hard on kids. They might not always show it, but leaving behind their friends, favorite places, and routines can stir up some pretty deep emotions.

As parents, we have to be the steady rock, helping them navigate all the feelings that come with such a big change.

Validate Their Feelings

When we first told our older daughter about the move from Germany to the U.S., her reaction was instant—she just broke down. She loved her kindergarten friends and didn’t want to leave them.

After that, though, she seemed to move on and didn’t talk about it much. Looking back, I can see now she was just holding it all in, bottling up her feelings.

It’s so important to let your kids know that whatever they’re feeling is okay. Moving is hard, and it’s normal to feel sad, angry, or even scared. Sometimes, they won’t say anything, but that doesn’t mean the emotions aren’t there.

Encourage them to share their thoughts and let them know that it’s perfectly fine to feel all those things. It can be tough to watch them struggle, but validating their feelings goes a long way in helping them process the move.

Balancing Positivity with Reality

As parents, we naturally want to cheer up our kids, right? We try to put a positive spin on everything, hoping it’ll lift their spirits.

I remember one night, just before our flight, our daughter was upset about something completely unrelated. In an attempt to distract her, I started talking about how cool it would be to fly and see the clouds from the plane. I thought it would get her excited about the adventure ahead.

Man, I was wrong. Instead, she just burst into tears—hearing about the flight made the reality of the move hit her all over again.

That moment really hit home for me. While it’s great to focus on the exciting parts of moving—new places, new friends—it’s also important to let them process the hard stuff.

Sure, there’s so much to look forward to, but it’s also okay to be sad about what’s being left behind. It’s a balance between being positive and being real with them.

Honesty, Reassurance, and a Little Enthusiasm

One thing I’ve learned is that being honest with your kids about the move helps a lot. Keep it simple and age-appropriate, but don’t sugarcoat things too much.

Let them know that it’s totally normal to feel all sorts of things—excited, nervous, sad, and everything in between. At the same time, reassure them that it’s okay to feel that way, and that you’re all in this together.

Your attitude really matters too. If you’re excited and positive about the move, they’ll pick up on that energy. It doesn’t mean they’ll suddenly love the idea, but your enthusiasm can help them see the relocation as more of a family adventure than something scary. It’s all about creating that shared sense of “we’re in this together.”

Our Experience: Handling Those Hidden Emotions

Our daughter didn’t show a lot of emotion about the move after that first breakdown. I think she felt like, “What’s the point of talking about it? We’re moving no matter what.” So she kept everything bottled up.

It wasn’t until the night before our flight that she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She had a total meltdown, and that’s when I realized just how much she had been keeping inside.

What I’ve learned from that experience is that even if kids seem fine on the surface, they might be hiding a lot underneath. We need to be proactive in checking in with them, and creating safe spaces for them to express how they feel. It’s not always easy, but being there to listen and acknowledge their emotions can make a world of difference.

In the end, preparing your kids emotionally for a move isn’t about fixing everything or making them super excited right away. It’s about being present—validating their feelings, showing empathy, and helping them navigate this new chapter with you by their side.

4. Schools and Healthcare Research

Moving with kids to a new country is a big deal. There are so many things to figure out, like schools and healthcare, and doing that research ahead of time can really make a difference—not just for you as a parent, but for your kids, too.

Before we moved from Germany to the U.S., we dove into all of this. And honestly, it helped make the transition smoother for everyone, especially our daughters.

School Transitions: Helping Kids Adjust

Different school systems

The school system was one of the biggest challenges we faced before moving with our kids. In Germany, “kindergarten” means three years of early childhood education And the last year of Kindergarten in Germany is called “Preschool”, or “Vorschule” in German.

But in the U.S., kindergarten is only one year, and before that, there’s something called “transitional kindergarten (TK)”. And preschool comes before TK. It felt like we were learning a whole new language!

Know what to expect

Doing this research wasn’t just about making sure we knew when to enroll. It was about helping our kids feel prepared, too. For our older daughter, who was just about to start school, knowing the differences in the school system helped us explain what to expect.

We could talk to her about what kindergarten would be like in the U.S., which took away some of the uncertainty she was feeling. Moving is tough on kids, and not knowing what’s coming can make it even harder. But because we had done our homework, we could reassure her and give her a clearer picture of what was ahead.

Prepare all necessary document

We also had to get all the documents ready—things like school records and teacher recommendations. In Germany, kids that young don’t have formal academic records, so we had to ask her teacher to write up something for us.

This was a big deal because it is much easier to collect those documents while we are still in Germany. It would be much more difficult to organize if we only start doing this after moving with our kids to the U.S.

Healthcare: Keeping Kids Healthy and Stress-Free

Check the vaccination requirement

Another major part of our move was sorting out healthcare. In the U.S., schools require specific vaccinations, and if your child isn’t up to date, they can’t start school. We made sure to check all of this ahead of time and got as many vaccinations done in Germany as possible.

This was especially helpful for our daughters because it meant we weren’t running around trying to get appointments right after the move. Moving is already a big adjustment for kids, and the last thing they need is added stress from doctor’s appointments because of something we could’ve prepared for earlier.

And did I tell you that they hate vaccines? 😅

Different healthcare system

Not to mention, the healthcare system in Germany is really different from the U.S. And we weren’t sure how it would work once we arrived.

By taking care of the health stuff before the move, we could focus on helping the kids settle in without worrying about their medical needs. For them, it meant less disruption and more time to adjust to their new surroundings.

Read also: Cost of living in Germany – How to save money?

5. Pre-Visits and Virtual Tours

One of the best ways to prepare your kids for a big move is to familiarize them with the new environment ahead of time. This can mean visiting the area ahead of your move, or even just a virtual tour.

The Pre-Visit Plan

When we first learned about our move to the U.S., our company offered to arrange a pre-visit as part of the relocation package. With this relocation package, our whole family could fly over for a week to explore the area, check out neighborhoods, tour schools, and get a feel for what would soon become our new home.

It was an incredible opportunity, especially for our kids. We thought it would help them build a connection with the place before the move and make everything seem less abstract, especially for our older daughter.

She could see the houses, meet some teachers, and maybe even get excited about the new adventure ahead. The idea of this pre-visit was reassuring—not just for her, but for us as parents too.

When Plans Fall Through

Unfortunately, as with many things during that time, COVID threw a wrench in our plans. With the borders closed, we weren’t able to enter the U.S. We couldn’t get our visas in time, and the entire trip was off the table.

Honestly, it was a bit of a letdown. We had all these plans and hopes for easing into this huge life change. But like everyone else during the pandemic, we had to pivot.

The Virtual Tour Solution

Since we couldn’t visit physically, we had to get creative.

We started by setting up virtual tours of potential schools. Thanks to technology, we were able to schedule online tours where the school’s teachers would walk us through the campus, showing us classrooms, playgrounds, and common areas—all through a camera.

The teachers even spoke to our daughter, introducing themselves and explaining what her days might look like. It wasn’t perfect, of course. Our daughter was shy and a bit hesitant during these virtual meetings, but I could tell it helped her visualize what school would be like, taking away some of the mystery. The classrooms no longer felt like just a word—we could actually see them.

Exploring Virtually

We also spent a lot of time on Google Maps, virtually walking around neighborhoods and showing her where we might live. We zoomed in on parks, nearby schools, and local attractions, giving her a clearer picture of her soon-to-be home.

We’d say, “Look, this is where we live now in Germany, and this is where we’re moving to in the U.S.” showing her the distance on the map, crossing continents in a matter of seconds. It was our way of grounding the experience for her, trying to make the concept of moving less overwhelming.

Virtual Playdates and Familiar Faces

We also arranged virtual playdates with some friends we already knew in the U.S. They had kids around the same age as ours, and while our daughter didn’t do much talking during these video calls—mostly just shy waves—it still introduced her to faces she’d recognize once we moved.

Even though she wasn’t engaging much at that moment, I think just knowing that there were kids waiting on the other side helped make the idea of the move a little less daunting.

Building Comfort Through Virtual Experiences

In the end, these virtual efforts made a difference. Our daughter wasn’t stepping into the complete unknown when we finally moved. She had an idea of what her school might look like, and she knew there were kids she could play with once we got settled.

It wasn’t a perfect process, but it helped her feel like she had a bit of control amid so many changes.

6. Making the Move Fun and Memorable

Turn the Move into an Adventure

To help our daughter cope with the big change, we wanted to make the move feel like an exciting adventure. Although we didn’t get around to making a countdown calendar with fun activities (honestly, we were swamped with packing and living in a hotel), it’s a great idea if you can manage it.

Imagine your child counting down the days, knowing exactly how many days are left until the big move. It helps them understand how soon things are happening and keeps the anticipation in check.

For an almost six-year-old like our daughter was at the time, this could have been a fantastic way to keep track and stay engaged with the process.

Create a Friendship Book

We also thought of a great way to hold onto memories by creating a friendship book. Instead of making it ourselves, we passed the book around to friends, teachers, and family members before our relocation.

Each person wrote a page about themselves and added their best wishes to our move, creating a wonderful collection of memories from our time in Germany.

This way, our daughter had a tangible piece of her old life to take with her. When we first moved to the U.S., she often pulled out the book to read the messages and look at the pictures. It was a comforting way for her to stay connected to her past and the people she loved.

Host a Big Goodbye Party

We also threw a big farewell party for our daughter before we left. She invited all her best friends from Germany, and it was a fantastic way for her to get some closure.

The party was a huge hit and filled with laughter, fun, and heartfelt goodbyes. She even received thoughtful gifts from her friends, which made the farewell feel special and less daunting. It was a meaningful way to wrap up her life in Germany and step into the new chapter with a positive attitude.

Moving with Kids – after your family relocation

1. Maintain routines

When it comes to moving, especially with kids in tow, keeping some things the same can make all the difference. One of the best strategies for a smoother transition is to stick to your routines as much as possible.

Here’s how we made it work and why it’s so important.

Stick to Your Daily Routines

After we arrived in the U.S., we spent the first two months in a temporary apartment while we waited for our permanent home. The place wasn’t ours, and it didn’t have any of our familiar furniture.

So, to help our kids feel more at home, we brought along their favorite blankets and stuffed animals. These little touches made a big difference.

I also kept their routines intact by planning daily outings to local parks and events. I found nearby activities like library story hours and kids’ events to keep them busy and engaged.

We kept bedtime as close to our usual time as possible, even though jet lag made it tough at first. It wasn’t perfect—those first few nights were a bit rough—but sticking to our routine gave them something familiar to hold on to.

We also made sure lunch and dinner times were as close to their usual schedule as possible. Even though the kitchen was different, having regular meal times helped maintain a sense of normalcy.

Plan Moving Day Thoughtfully

Planning a moving day with kids in mind can make a huge difference. Even though our move wasn’t completed in a single day—we shipped our furniture first, stayed in a hotel in Germany for two weeks, and then flew to the US—some general tips can still apply.

It’s important to keep essential items close by, even if your move is stretched out. For example, packing a bag with your kids’ favorite toys, snacks, and comfort items can help them feel secure.

Planning ahead is also crucial. If your move involves multiple stages, make sure to think about how you’ll maintain routines and manage the transition to make the process smoother for everyone involved.

2. Supporting Emotional Adjustment After the Move

Acknowledge Their Feelings

When we first moved to the U.S., my older daughter had her share of emotions. The sadness wasn’t as intense as it had been before the move, but she still missed her friends.

Whenever she said she missed her friends or wanted to visit them, I’d show her pictures of her friends, and we’d do video calls or send voice messages. It helped to bridge the gap and made her feel connected despite the distance.

It’s crucial to validate your child’s feelings and let them know that what they’re experiencing is normal. You can do this by having regular family check-ins where everyone shares how they’re feeling.

Books and stories about moving can also help explain and express their emotions. Remember, it’s okay for them to miss their old life; what’s important is that they know their feelings are valid and supported.

In addition, we kept up with the personalized adventure book that we had made before the move. Each page detailed a stage of our journey, like moving into the hotel or finding a new house.

Reading this book helped my kids understand what was happening and what came next. It gave them a sense of continuity and accomplishment as they saw our move progress in the book.

Celebrate Small Wins

Once we were settled, I found that keeping the kids busy was key. We explored playgrounds, attended local events, and organized playdates. This kept them engaged and helped them to gradually adjust.

For instance, if my daughter walked into school confidently or made a new friend, we’d celebrate these little victories. It might seem small, but acknowledging their progress—whether it’s handling a new situation well or just adapting to a new environment—boosts their confidence and morale.

3. Navigating New Schools and Social Circles

Moving to a new place means your kids are stepping into a whole new world, and that includes their new school and social circle.

Here’s how you can make that transition smoother for them:

Get to Know the New School

Once we moved to the US, I took the kids to their new schools before classes started. For my older daughter, who was starting elementary school, this meant getting a feel for her new surroundings.

We walked around the school, checked out her future classroom, and met some of the staff. This little tour helped her visualize where she’d be learning and eased her nerves about the big change.

For my younger one, starting preschool, we arranged a meet-and-greet with her teacher. I made sure the teacher knew she was new to the country and didn’t speak much English.

We asked for extra attention during her initial adjustment period. Allowing her to play at the preschool before it officially started gave her a chance to get comfortable with the new environment and her future teacher.

Encourage New Friendships

Building a new social circle takes time, but there are ways to help your kids make friends more quickly. Since our kids weren’t in school during the first month of our move—we were still sorting out housing and other details—I focused on setting up playdates with friends I had already made in the area.

My friends had kids of similar ages, so these playdates were a great way for my children to start making connections and feeling more at home.

For families who might be staying home with their kids instead of sending them to childcare right away, here are a few tips:

Join Local Groups

Many communities have Facebook groups or neighborhood apps where you can connect with other parents. These platforms are great for finding playdates or community events for kids.

Explore Free Events

For example, libraries in the U.S. often host free events for children, and local community centers might offer free or low-cost activities. These can be a fun way for your kids to meet others their age.

Visit the Playground

Sometimes the simplest way to meet new friends is by hanging out at the local playground. Kids naturally strike up conversations and play with others, which can be a low-pressure way to make new connections.

4. Exploring and Embracing the New Environment

Explore the Neighborhood

After moving to a new place, try to spend time exploring your new neighborhood with your kids together. When we first moved to the U.S., one of the things I prioritized was making sure our kids got familiar with the new neighborhood.

I wanted them to feel comfortable in their surroundings, and I figured the best way to do that was by getting out and exploring together.

We went to different playgrounds, visited the local library, and even made it a point to walk around the neighborhood as a family. Sometimes, we’d check out different grocery stores just to get a feel for where everything was.

It wasn’t anything extraordinary, but it helped the kids feel like they were getting to know their new home, bit by bit. Plus, it was a nice way to spend time together when things were hectic.

Once we settled down, we also started checking out some of the local attractions whenever we had time, though I admit it took a little while before we could really focus on that.

Helping Your Kids Learn the Local Language

If you’re moving somewhere where the language is totally new for your child, encourage them to engage in activities like playdates, sports, or community events where they can naturally pick up the language through interaction. It’s not just about sitting down with textbooks; it’s about learning through play, socializing, and daily routines.

For us, moving to the U.S. meant adjusting to an English-speaking environment, and that was a big shift for the kids as they didn’t really know much English.

For our older daughter, we started prepping her about a year before the move by letting her watch English cartoons. She didn’t understand much at first, but it didn’t matter—she was exposed to the language, and that was a start.

I’d even play the audio from the shows when she was sleeping, so she could hear English without too much screen time. It worked like magic. She picked up a lot, and by the time we moved, she could at least understand some basic English.

My kids picked up English so quickly once they started going to school. Schools here in the U.S. have a lot of experience with kids who don’t speak English, so they offer special support classes for children learning English as a second language. This was a huge help for us and really sped up the adjustment process.

Encourage Cultural Adaptation

If you’ve moved to a new country, encourage your children to learn about and engage with the local culture. Participate in cultural events and explore new customs together.

For us, adapting to our new life in the U.S. has been all about learning and experiencing what makes this place unique. It also meant understanding that here, the Chinese culture is a big part of the community as well.

Unlike in Germany, there’s a large Chinese community in our state in the U.S. So, while we’re learning about American customs, our kids are also seeing how Chinese traditions are celebrated here.

It’s been great for them to experience things like Chinese New Year alongside their new experiences. At school, they’ve even met other kids who speak Chinese, which helps them feel more connected as they learn about the broader culture around them.

5. Maintaining Connections with Your Old Home

When we first moved here, keeping the link to our old home was vital for our kids. Even though they were adjusting to a new environment, staying connected with friends and familiar places provided a sense of continuity.

Stay in Touch with Friends

To help our daughters keep their bonds with friends from Germany, we set up regular video calls and sent letters and voice messages. For younger kids, even showing pictures can make a big difference. It helps them remember their friends and feel a bit more at home in their new surroundings.

We also made sure to send some postcards back to Germany to keep those connections strong. These efforts helped ease the transition and maintain those precious relationships.

Reflect on Positive Memories

One of the best things we did was creat a friendship book. Each person from our old home contributed a page with their name, a description, and some heartfelt wishes. This book became a cherished item for our daughters, offering them comfort and a tangible link to their past.

Whenever they missed their old home or friends, flipping through this book reminded them of the good times they had and the people who cared about them.

Managing Homesickness

Homesickness is natural, especially after a big move. We found that offering comfort items from their old home, like their favorite blanket or stuffed animal, provided some reassurance. Planning regular calls with friends and family from Germany also helped.

Additionally, revisiting the memories of fun activities and special moments from our old home helped our kids manage their feelings. We do this by showing them pictures and videos from our time in Germany.

6. Dealing with Challenges

What are some signs that your child may have difficulty adjusting?

These signs include changes in behavior, such as withdrawal, irritability, or clinginess, academic decline, loss of interest in activities, or physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches.

Adjusting to a new school system

Moving to a new country can bring up some unique challenges, especially when it comes to adjusting to a new school system. Luckily for us, our kids were still quite young when we moved. Both of them were not even in first grade yet when we moved. So, there weren’t any major academic pressures to deal with right away.

However, there were a few hiccups. For instance, in Germany, formal academic instruction doesn’t really start until first grade, so when we arrived in the U.S., our older daughter was a bit behind compared to her classmates, who were already learning letters and basic math before Kindergarten.

Thankfully, the school had resources in place, like special tutoring classes and counseling for kids who needed a little extra help. This support made it easier for her to catch up.

If you’re moving with older kids or those in higher grades, academic differences can be more pronounced and might require extra attention.

It’s crucial to communicate with teachers about any struggles your child might be facing. Schools often have support systems for students who are adjusting to different educational standards, so don’t hesitate to reach out for help.

Social challenge

On the social side, younger kids tend to make friends more easily, so we didn’t encounter many issues there. But if your child is older and struggling socially, seeking support from teachers and getting involved in school activities can help them integrate more smoothly.

It is important to provide a supportive environment where your children feel comfortable expressing their feelings. Spend quality time together and encourage open communication. Seek professional help, such as a counselor or therapist, if needed.

Conclusion

Moving with kids isn’t a walk in the park, but it’s an adventure full of new experiences for everyone involved. From figuring out new languages and adjusting to a new culture, to keeping in touch with old friends, each step is a chance to help your kids feel more confident and at home in a new place.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that your kids need time—and lots of support—to get through the ups and downs of a big move. Whether it’s celebrating the little wins (like making it through the first day of school) or helping them stay connected with friends from your old home, it’s all about finding the right balance between the old and the new.

There will be tough moments, no doubt, but the most important thing is that you’re all in it together. With some patience, open conversations, and a little bit of fun, you’ll help your kids settle in and start making this new place feel like home.

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Have you done a family relocation and moved with your kids? Do you have any tips on this topic? Leave a comment below and share your experience!